Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Weakness

Pruning...one of my favorite analogies. I enjoy pruning my plants & then seeing what happens during the growing season. But I don't necessarily get it in my life. I have lots of pain from the past & it still affects my relationships today. I wonder what God was thinking to give me the desires of my heart to only let them lead to hurt. Sounds so odd to say that. My middle daughter had her 10th birthday Sunday & I kept thinking about Angie & so many others who don't have their children with them. And I wonder about my own little one in Heaven of whom I only saw the tiniest of heartbeats. I want to happy for my children. I want to have joy for my husband. For my God. For myself. But I also want to accept His will for my life.

Where is the redemption? Why so many residual effects? Why is it so hard....

A very long time ago an amazing friend shared the following Scripture with me. I have to admit I didn't get it. But I knew it was important for my life. I am still trying to wrap my head & heart around this passage. I pray that one day, I will understand it better than I do today. To that end, I have started a listing of online references to these verses on my sidebar. And anytime I find something that adds to my understanding, I add it.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I want to share the words to a song by Jason Gray preceded by his note about the song:

"As a stutterer, I begged God for years to heal me. And though I still stutter, I still believe He heals – even if it’s not in the way we might hope for. Instead of healing my disability it seems God has chosen to heal others through it, showing His strength through my weakness time and time again. Over the years I’ve found that my stutter was the least of my disabilities. I am weak and have many broken places, and God’s mercy shines through them all. If we believe that God is strong in our weakness, why are we always determined to be so strong?"

"Weak"

I was afraid to be weak
Afraid to be me
I was afraid
Because I didn’t want them to see
What’s broken in me

But I guess I was wrong
I should’ve known all along
When I’m weak You are strong in me

You make up what I lack
You shine through the cracks
Where I was shattered
Because You pour out Your grace
Through my broken places

CHORUS

So I won’t be afraid to cry
To confess or question why
I won’t hide the pain I feel
Now I know these wounds are how you heal
No I won’t be afraid to cry
I don’t want to live a lie
They will see Your love is real
When I let You use my wounds to heal
These wounds are how You heal
You can use these wounds to heal

If they’re afraid I stand too tall
They’ll tear down the bridges and build a wall
But if they see I stumble the walls may crumble down

I was wrong
I don’t have to be strong
I didn’t want to believe
But now I finally see
My deepest point of need
Is the better part of me
`Cause when I’m weak You are strong in me

3 comments:

JC said...

Wow!!!! Thanks!

:)

Jennifer

Librarian or Teacher said...

I absolutely love those lyrics.

ginger said...

L or T:
If you go to the Jason Gray website (on my sidebar) & launch the jukebox, you can listen to the song (& others) for free! It's def worth a listen, IMO.